Upon leaving the cinema, my mother lamented at how the movie we had just watched— Crazy Rich Asians— not only unfairly showcased Chinese culture but also had a “toxic American ending.” Confused by this unexpected criticism, I asked her why. Crazy Rich Asians depicts the story of Rachel Chu, a middle-class Chinese American, who goes to Singapore with her boyfriend Nick Young to attend a wedding, where she meets his wealthy and influential family. During the visit, she faces mixed reactions to her relationship with Nick from his friends and family, including disapproval from his mother. Nick’s mother perceives Rachel as someone who would bring shame to the Young family, as Rachel’s life motto of seeking happiness and her unwillingness to sacrifice her career would interfere with her duty to the family. My mother explained to me that, while the ending ultimately gave Rachel a happy ending with Nick’s marriage proposal, it was a tragic move that would inevitably lead to an unsuccessful marriage; Rachel would then cause Nick’s family to “lose face.” Listening to her explanation, I reflected on the ways in which my mother perfectly exemplifies the stark differences between the East and the West’s cultural priorities.
In many East Asian cultures, especially China, the idea of face heavily dictates the way that people interact and the type of activities that people choose to engage in. People might buy certain cars, live in certain neighborhoods, and marry certain people in order to save face and in turn increase their social standing. The concept of face, which figuratively means one’s “dignity” or “honor,” plays a role in all societies by dictating the type of behavior that is considered appropriate in certain social situations and relationships. However, in Chinese culture, the concept of face is much more prevalent and widely accepted as a valid reason for making decisions, big or small. For example, in China, prestige, and face would be a perfectly valid rationale for choosing to attend a university of higher ranking, whereas, in the West, many other factors, such as college affordability, fit, and location play a more significant role in the decision process. On a more day-to-day basis, one might choose not to point out a glaring mistake made by their boss during a business meeting to save face for their boss, whereas this same behavior might be seen as kissing up in the West. Face, by acting as a driving force for the decision-making process, prevails in all facets of Chinese society and heavily impacts the progress of Chinese culture.
So why does face matter so much in Chinese culture? Is it because Chinese culture places more emphasis on superficial outward appearance than the West? Are Chinese people wired to do whatever others expect of them? When we examine the historic origins of the concept of face, these possibilities are quickly disproven. Chinese culture is largely shaped by Confucianism, a belief system that heavily emphasizes the importance of a strict hierarchical structure in creating a harmonious society. In Confucianism, there are “five constant relationships (五伦)” that dictate the basic hierarchical structure of civilization: the relationship between ruler and subject, father and son, husband and wife, older brother and younger brother, and friends. In each relationship, the former has a superior social status than the latter, and each actor must behave accordingly to maintain this hierarchy. Granted, Chinese culture has rejected the expectation for wives to obey their husbands, but still heavily emphasizes the importance of respecting one’s role in other relationships. Any behavior that disrupts the power dynamic within these relationships is seen as destructive, inappropriate, and causes the other person to lose face. As such, face is not about maintaining some sort of outward appearance; it is about maintaining current hierarchical structures that make up the very fabric of Chinese society.
So what would the ideal conclusion to Crazy Rich Asians be for my mother? Rachel, the protagonist, would rethink her goal of finding individual happiness, and instead, proceed in life with thinking about what would be best for the family unit. Rachel’s boyfriend would resign from his current position in New York to go work for his family business back in Singapore. The couple would produce heirs to inherit the family business in the future, and they would seek advice from their elders before making any life-changing decisions to see if it would align with the family’s best interests. Ultimately, they should uphold their roles in the social hierarchy in order to maintain face for the family.